Monday, August 15, 2011

The Last Step..

19th July 2011

As I woke up to a beautiful lazy morning doing my regular chores a phone call with a letter changed my daily routine into a chaotic day worrying about the the future like hell. I knew it will happen, this day had to come and I should have been prepared for it mentally but as you know me am not that type.. i wished for some more time before starting this..before my life will take its final step. But well the time had come to lift my legs for the final step of my life..

It was my admission letter for postgraduate degree and I had to join it the coming week. The final step of my learning life as after 2 years I would be somewhere I don’t know yet! The first thought that came to my mind was will I be able to do it once again? Because honestly I am a person who is all pessimistic (by now you all know that) and as pessimism works it grilled me to its worst. I started thinking if I can escape this if there’s one single reason I can hide myself from this but alas there wasn’t! Life moves on..!! And with no hope of escaping it I went forward for this step. I was happy but at the same time nervous, scared and sad (full of mixed emotions) nervous for the fact of a new thing in my will it be..will I be able to do it? Scared for the fact that I know for one thing whatever mistakes I have committed in my life I’ve learnt alot from then..scared tht now is the stage where I shouldn’t commit a single mistake. And sad for the fact that I had to move on from one step to the other..abhi toh i started loving the life i had..was adjusting to it..improving it..and suddenly destiny is ready to give me my last and final step.. Normal people are happy to have a a new chapter begins in their life but well am I really normal?? I so *doubt* it!!

In simple words.. Everything in me was messed up like hell!!!

Okay so now my loved ones (as i love to call them that) came in and did their best to support I am a person who needs a push in almost everything. {Though my *someone special* disappeared somewhere and was nowhere to be seen unless the first day of my college began umm..guess m deviating from the topic..that’s another aspect to it but more on that later}

Hmm.. Well have been like that since I was born..Never really thought what freedom is without my loved ones. So with their support I started preparing myself for the coming week where I had to join.. and you know what? Am such a big coward (well yeah i am.. and am not ashamed to admit it) I feel scared of every damn thing.. All I want to do is run back home and return to my shell and hide as much as possible. Once again I had to start a fresh and final step of my life and the word *final* really gave me goosebumps!!

Finally the dreaded week came and I was found......*(to be continued)*


  1. You sound so much like my daughter. Yes, you actually do.
    Love you :)

  2. @Saumya : awwiee...i always was :) m so happy you actually read my posts and appreciate it.. :) thank you so much.. :D


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