Sunday, December 25, 2011
With the year 2011 almost ending now...alot of chapters of my life have come to an end as well or so I believe... 2011 brought me tears of joy and sorrows as well...And sorrows that I could never even imagine in my life..
The biggest of the biggest changes happened within fraction of seconds without even letting me adjust to the current state I was in... Is really life like that? Or am I just getting punished for nothing?
Well really...Can’t answer that! No one knows except someone who is happily watching from above... Enjoying what life’s doing to me!
When this year began, I actually had no idea how it would change.. And it changed for better...Brought me happiness...the best I could get! But as every good thing has to end... this also did!! Left me in the grave!!
Agar yehi hona tha toh why the hell did it even happen? I kept thinking destiny is really amazing...Playing its part...giving me everything I want! Suddenly a volcano erupts and what happens? Huh! Gives something...and takes back as soon as it can have that back!
If this is what is life’s nature.. Honestly I don’t want it! I don’t want this life! It’s better to go than to just be played by destiny or life! Oh whatever!
Never thought would say all this for this year in particular because no doubt it has given me biggest happiness of my life...I’ll always cherish them deep in my heart..Because it happened! But why does it have to end and that to without any fault of mine? Thought this would be the best year of my life..changing my life forever for the best.. but whatever! have nothing to say on it!!!
Some times I feel maybe am seriously so imperfect so complicated that happiness just comes to me...Knocks on my doorstep and just as I open the door it goes away! Vanishes! As if it wasn’t ever there! As if it knocked on the wrong door!
6 days to go for the new year...new hopes...new dreams... And all i am left is with scars and wounds that would never heal!
Yeah i know time heals everything phenomenon but really does it? Do you forget the ones who are dead...who aren’t there in your life anymore... no right? Somewhere or the other they are still with you... you miss them...their absence affects you... but that part of you will never accept that you miss them and you are still hurt!
Yeah our helplessness leads us to this..and to console ourselves we say time will heal these wounds and stuff! But does it really? Don’t you miss what once was yours? And now it’s taken back from you by destiny or god or life just because they wanted it back! Oh Whatever! And after all this they say... you got to move on! Life goes on! Bullshit!
Yeah that’s how life works everyone says... but what’s life nature anyway? Why can’t people just live happily with what they love best! Why is it taken away from them? Why? And why people who are innocent always suffer? Why when you love something with your everything...decides to leave you just because it wants to!!
This year taught me so much that I don’t even have the eagerness to welcome the new year again! Same story will be repeated again!
Everything’s dead inside me now...