Friday, July 8, 2011

Behind my Smile is everything you'll never understand..

I just don't feel like I know myself very well right now, so how can I be sure about anything? Most of the time I feel so awkward, you know, like I don't belong in my own skin, I get frustrated at everything, I could just scream and there's no reason for it, I just hate myself.

I don't know what I want in life. I don't know what I want right now. All I know is that I'm hurting so much inside that it's eating me, and one day, there won't be any more of me left. Everything that ever cause a tear to trickle down my cheeks, I run away and hide from it. But now, everything is unwinding and finding its way back towards me. And I don't know what to do. I just know that the pain I felt so long ago, it's hurting ten times more.

Have you ever felt so alone and nothing makes sense? Well that's how I feel right now...I feel like I'm facing everything myself, with nothing but tears and a fake smile.I didn't want to admit it.It was easier to lie.
Hide the hurt and emptiness to smile instead of cry..


  1. da cry is always beautiful coz it helps you know better and am sure very soon you will gain the moemntum..

    jz chill,.. things are always weird, ta has to be our own way of taking it and guiding ourself to the optimism

  2. I like the way you have written. Your expression is good. About the content, may be we can have a chat. A positive outlook might help. Knowing that you are not the only one, but several more who face life in a much more pathetic form is something you should never forget. Count your blessings, not the curses.

  3. your share is there and will always be there to be bestowed upon you, it may happen the other way by some other spiritual soul who will understand the spirit of your soul... its there, believe me... jz keep smiling...

    chill chill chilll ankita... :)

    "jo jaa raha hai, use jaane do... wo aapka nahin..
    baaris ki wo boond ka hi hame ehsaas hota hai jo hamari hai... warna qaynaat me mausam to kai aate hai..."

  4. oh ankita! relax .there is nothing abnormal about feeling this way..we are all humans after all and there is a limit to our patience takes tough tests...but remember ...its good to be tested as it makes you stronger and braver then ever...everybody feels the same at some point in life..its ok! but the real tip is to avoid being locked up in that one cant stay all stuck up in this feeling of worthlessness ...

    look around you and you will find people with more tragic stories ..but they will be
    living..and half of that crowd if nt all of them
    must be living life happily with that peaceful smile on their the choice is u want to be stronger or you want this to eat u up? be brave and fight back! you are nt a Looser ! are you?


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